Mar. 12, 2004 - 6:34 p.m.

Reason #117 why I love NewWifey(tm)

Earlier this evening:

Dangerspouse and NewWifey(tm) are watching SpongeBob. A promo comes on plugging some new series with Cameron Diaz.

NewWifey(tm): I bet she gives lousy blowjobs.

Dangerspouse: (stunned) How can you say that? She's gorgeous!

NW: Look at that mouth - it's HUGE! There's no way she could get enough suction with a mouth like that.

DS: . . . . . .

NW: No, really. You're a guy; wouldn't you rather stick your dick into something small and tight, instead of a Cessna hanger? I mean, that's why so many guys like anal, right? C'mere, I'll show you....

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Now I'll never know if Sandy went back to Texas, or if Spongebob lured her back, dammit.

Oh, and Cameron - sorry babe, gotta cancel this weekend. Your big mouth lost another guy.