Oct. 21, 2012 - 9:52 a.m.

Wineauxs

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I used to be an instructor at the International Wine Center in Manhattan.

Ever since NewWifey(tm) found that out, she's used me as a bargaining chip with some of her friends. "If you guys do this for me" she tells them, "I'll get my husband to host a wine tasting party for us."

Today is one of those times.

In about 3 hours I'm going to have a gaggle of ladies (and their sullen husbands who don't want to be dragged along on football day) clog up my bathrooms with their feminine products in between me trying to convince them to spit. (Shouldn't be hard, if my college dating experiences were any indication.)

NewWifey(tm) told me, "These bitches think they're all high and mighty, but they don't know shit about wine. To them all reds are sour, and all whites are chardonnay. I want you to get 3 reds, 3 whites and 2 dessert wines, and have them all be vastly different from each other so I can show them what they're missing. And have them all tell me I married well. Finally."

So there you go. I'm just a tool in my wife's ongoing one-upsmanship game.

Anyway, I have a break right now while she vacuums and spit-polishes the lamp finials. I've made a simple poached turkey breast salad a la Bresse which should be a good neutral dish that will pair with the 6 non-dessert wines. It's a good way to show how wines affect the flavor of food, and especially vice-verse.

BTW, if you're curious, this is the list. I had to keep it to an average of $17 per bottle. I spent a little less on some so I could spend a little more on others. At the end I averaged just over $16 per bottle.

1. Goldwater, sauvignon blanc (New Zealand)

2. Hugel, gewurztraminer (Alsace)

3. Besitos, moscato (Spain)

4. Norton Ridge, pinot noir (Sonoma)

5. Ch. La Tour de Bessan, (Margaux)

6. Jacob's Creek, reserve shiraz (Australia)

7. Ch. La Foncalpre, (Monbazillac)

8. Fonseca "Bin 27" NV (Port)

Plus a wheel of Saga blue cheese and some pears to go with the port.

One of them better put out after all this.

Although with my luck, it'll probably be one of the husbands....

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