Dangerspouse Rides Again

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Garage - Track

Jun. 16, 2013 - 7:29 a.m.

The Cat in the Rack


One of these things is not like the other:

I swear, this happens every time I pull one of those pots out.

And I don't even know who that cat is.

(BTW, the yellow pot just over the cat is not missing a lid. It's just inverted because there's usually a smaller pot nestled on top. I don't want you to think I'm some kind of lidless moron.)

NewWifey(tm) built that rack from oak planks, I'll have you know. Just sayin'. My wife is better than yours.

Since we're on the subject (of pots, not wives) I used one of them to make scalloped potatoes last week. (No, not the cat pot. Although next time....) As usual I made 15 times as much as NewWifey(tm) and I could eat. Even shoveling a pound or two into Casey the Wonder Corgi didn't result in a noticeable drop in the pile. NewWifey(tm) finally stubbornly refused to force any more down on Friday when I served it for the fourth night in a row (women!).

So yesterday in a stroke of (typical) genius I spooned what was left into a food processor and whizzed it down into paste. To the paste I added an egg, some flour, and milk.

Viola! Potato pancake batter. It was great! But...after gagging down steaming piles of perfectly light and crispy potato pancakes for both breakfast and lunch, there was still about 2 cups of batter left. Even I was starting to blanch.

This morning, then, another stroke of - yes - typical genius. Do they never stop coming?

I took the batter, added more flour, honey, yeast, and kneaded it into a bread.

The bread turned out even better than the pancakes, or for that matter even better than the 1st generation scalloped dish. Potato bread always comes out soft, and this was no exception. But because I added onion, cheese and crumbled bacon to the original dish, this ensuing loaf had a really extraordinary fragrance and taste.

The only problem was, it left us with hairs stuck in our teeth for some reason:

I know a certain pussy that's gonna get waxed today.

Hey, it worked when I had that problem with NewWifey(tm)....



Speaking of NewWifey(tm), now that she's suitably fortified with scalloped cat bread and a breakfast ale she's about to go out and attempt to REPLACE THE ENTIRE EXHAUST SYSTEM ON HER 2001 FORD ESCAPE XL. By herself. (My job is to stay inside and cower.) I anticipate much spilling of blood and frequent runs to the ale replenishment depot. Whether or not she survives I'll post pics when the mushroom cloud clears.




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