Dangerspouse Rides Again

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Garage - Track

Nov. 07, 2014 - 6:37 a.m.

Really Awful Joke Time!

Yeah, they're dumb. And old. But you know you're gonna tell at least one of them to somebody later.


A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next he has to get some flowers, so he heads over the the florist where there's a huge flower line. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Of course there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and manages to book one for the event. Finally, the day of the prom comes. He looks great in the tux, the girl is thrilled with the flowers, and they ride in style to the prom. There they dance happily to the first song and when it ends she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over the the punch table and there is no punch line.


I just orderd a shirt at TShirtHell.com that says: "Women are like parking lots. They're all whores and liars." I don't actually think they are (usually), but it's to counter NewWifey(tm)'s latest mantra: "I like my men the way I like my coffee: ground up and in the freezer."


Three statisticians go out rabbit hunting. Sure enough after a while they spot a rabbit sitting in a field. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts "We got him!"


A guy at a bar is talking to a beautiful girl, and he says to her "Wanna see my watch?" She says yes, so he pulls his zipper down and whips out his dick. "That's not a watch!" she says. "It is if you put a face and two hands on it" he replies.


What's green and fuzzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A pool table.


Oh man, I almost had a 3-some last night. All I needed was two more people.


The Republicans have control of the house and senate.


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