Dangerspouse Rides Again

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Garage - Track

Jun. 18, 2016 - 3:39 p.m.


And so of course because I'm in pain and need surgery, my surgeon pushed my pre-op appointment back a month so he could go on a 4 week long vacation. I don't begrudge him the chance to get away to his dream leisure spot - he works hard, and the opportunity just popped up at the last second - but my rapidly melting elbow does.

That was 3 weeks ago when I got the news. Next Thursday he returns, and basically will give me an assessment as soon as his first class seat on Air Utopia lands and he disembarks. I'm hoping he schedules the surgery for soon afterwards, before I do something stupid like drunk-buy an arm guillotine in desperation. They carry them on Amazon, right?

Recently I wrote here that I would be throwing caution to the wind and risking further injury to my shredded elbow by updating when I damn well felt like it. And I meant it.

Until I started typing typing typing typing OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! SHIT THAT HURTS!!

Resolve or no resolve, I fold at the first hint of pain. NewWifey(tm) may have a pussy, but I am one. So I haven't done any updating or anything else since my last entry, other than leave a few notes and e-mails. The only other exception: work. I still have to write my news. That's torture, but I gotta pay the bills. Premium memberships at PornHub aren't free, you know.

I shouldn't even really be typing here today, but I actually miss this place so much it was worth the AGONY, OH AAAAAAGONY! Plus, the moderating effects of 2 Percocet, 2 Tylenol PM's, 4 Advil, 2 Beyer Children's aspirin, and a half a bottle of Maker's Mark really helps a lot. I hardly feel a thing.

I should probably knock it off here, though. I'm sure I'm gonna feel it when I sober up in a couple of days. I guess I'll just leave you with a joke I may have told here once before, but will repeat anyway because I think it encapsulates a certain aspect of the current political climate in the US:

Two guys from Pakistan, best friends, emigrate to the United States. When they get off the boat one says to the other, "Let's meet back here in 10 years and see which of us has assimilated into our new country the best." The friend agrees, so they shake hands and go their seperate ways.

Ten years to the day later the two men meet on the same dock. The first guy pulls up in a new Mercedes and gets out wearing a sharp suit and a Rolex. He says to his friend, "Look at me, I'm the embodiment of the American Dream. I put myself through medical school, have a thriving practice, and a stock portfolio worth millions. I married the Homecoming Queen, we have two kids - a boy and a girl - and we vacation every year at Disneyland. Top that!"

The other guy looks at him and says, "Fuck you, towel head" and drives off.








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