Dangerspouse Rides Again

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Garage - Track

Feb. 17, 2017 - 6:45 p.m.

I'm Gonna Mount a Girl!

Oh my god:


I guess this was bound to happen now that Trump's been elected. Still, I thought it would be catch-and-release. At least at first.

You know what bothers me more than anything about this story in our local paper? Our town is allowing us to hunt women inside the refuge. The whole point of that refuge was to give women a space where they could roam free without fear of predation. We voted on it, people!

Additionally, I happen to know that many of these women were raised in captivity. They have no natural fear of hunters, having been hand fed and cared for by humans almost since birth. Where's the sport in that? This is the very definition of "canned hunting", and I for one am not looking forward to shortly seeing Dick Cheny come strolling past my house with a loaded 12-guage on his shoulder.

Which brings me to my other objection.

"Shotguns will be provided"?


If you're gonna stuff and mount a Trophy Girl, you do NOT want her riddled with shot. I guess if you just want to mount the head on the wall, you can nail her in the chest with the choke all the way down so there's no dispersion above the neck. But even so, a certain amount of luck is needed. If even one pellet mars the face, you have to toss the whole carcass.

No, if you're all gung-ho to display her in the classic "She Was Charging Right At Me!" pose in your study:


you really should be bow hunting. That's just common sense.

So that's what's happening in my little backwater town. At least according to our little backwater newspaper.

But of course, the actual story is not nearly as juicy. My town has not, sadly, declared open season on blondes. It's just that ever since our paper let go of their editor and proofreaders as part of a cost saving plan, we've been getting lots of, well, surprising headlines (and copy) on a regular basis. I'm sure the 19 year old community college dropouts they pay $8.75/hr to file stories are doing their best. However it does occassionally lead to our wimmin folk running scared.

Speaking of wimmin folk running scared, it's about time I checked on NewWifey(tm). Maybe stuffing and mounting a girl IS in my future!




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